The Legend of Bobby Kielty

April 1, 2008

Bobby Kielty is not your normal Ginger Nut. Not just a man, but he is a myth, a legend if you will. Bobby Kielty derives his slugging power and quick fielding from his personal mana source, mustard. He loves Heinz Yellow Mustard, but he has a special place in his heart for Grey Poupon. Although Bobby is a ginger kid, he is one of the few that made it away with a soul, despite recent rumors stating otherwise.


Red Sox players claim their success in the 2007 World Series is due, in large part, to the team firecrotch. One player was quoted as saying, “Mang, I don’t know what we would have done without his ginger ass. We’d all lick his freckled back, like one of those toads, to enhance our performance on the field. Baseball is full of tradition, and the Red Sox have Bobby Kielty as our good luck charm.”


The next time you go to a Red Sox game, whether visiting a stadium or taking in a ball game at Fenway, try out these creative cheers to support Bobby Kielty:

“Look alive Bobby. Quick Hands! Quick Hands!”
“OH Ma-maaaah”
(Pointing to your hat, and looking around the stands) “B for Bobby!”
(Wearing a rally cap if the Red Sox are down) “BOBBY CAPS!”
“Bobbalicious! Bobberino!”
“Ready Stance, Bobby! This one’s coming to you!”
“Hollahollahollahollaholla BOB-BEH!”

(We did it, and it seemed to work great)


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