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Lost Chicken

April 5, 2008

People have dogs, cats, lizards, even rats for pets. My friend, Sloby, decided he wanted chickens. The coop was built, the chickens were picked out, and for almost 2 years, we’ve watched those chickens guard their eggs and peck at their own shit for fun. The backyard smells like the dirtiest porta-potty I’ve ever had experienced. Imagine a mixture of cow shit, horse shit, mud and rice cakes… yeah, rice cakes.

These chickens were spoiled with food and, as a result, they were some of the fattest chickens you’ve ever seen. Well, recently one of the chickens fought the good fight and lost… to a raccoon of enormous proportions. She was abducted 2 nights ago and hasn’t been seen since.

Chicken Kidnapping flyers have been hung around the neighborhood of Agate and E 19th, but noone has come forward yet.

Any and all leads to a raccoon shitting out bird feathers will be rewarded with a high five and 2 fresh eggs. Pray for her soul.

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