Posts Tagged ‘Camp Adventure’


Bittersweet Goodbye

August 19, 2007

This morning my co-workers left for the states. I am already missing some of them, but I can honestly say it was time to move on. I had an interesting 2 and a half months in Rota, but I’m glad I’m gone.

Today I was sitting in my room, dreading having to travel to Madrid because I had no idea how I was going to get there. Oh, best part of all: I had a plane ticket to get to Madrid with all my coworkers… like the giant asshole I am, I canceled the ticket two weeks ago when extending my trip.

Major travel anxiety kicked in, but I found a way, and now I’m on a high-speed train in 1st class, living the life of rich Spaniards. Pretty sweet ass accommodations, considering my dumb ass had to pay an extra 100 Euro to get there.

I’m glad I’m on my way to Madrid. Today, they have this show featuring 100 percussionists by a lake in El Buen Retiro (a park built by a former king) I’m wicked exicted to go see that and then hit up the tapa bars/discos/wherever else I end up.

My vacation has finally started, and it just set in. AND, I’m friggin excited.


Isla Mierda

June 27, 2007

Wednesdays are field trip days for our camp. It sounds like it would be a blast, but it’s so nerveracking to keep track of so many kids in public. At least when we are on base, we have activities and know where to go. In public, it’s a whole different ball game.

Today we got to go to a theme park called Isla Magica in Sevilla, about an hour and half away. Notice the title of this entry… it says it all.

The park was packed full of amazing rides. Let’s see… there was the log flume that went about a mile per hour, the water was piss yellow in some parts and it smelled like goat shit after the first drop. Then we got on the dragon ride. All the kids were so excited for the “scary dragon ride,” which turned out to be Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (from Disney World) with technology from 40 years ago. It was like a low budget Legends of the Hidden Temple. All I could do was laugh as we passed by cardboard Tiki cutouts. Would have been more scary to drive us past a band full of hyped up Gypsies. Still, I think one of the kids may have crapped their pants.

We also go to hit up the River Rapids, the Cyclone and the Yo-yo. And they all… you guessed it… blew a big elephant nut. The best ride of all… the bus ride home when I got to sleep a little bit.

Don’t get me wrong. I love seeing the sights, and my kids are awesome, but there’s a reason why it should be called Isla Mierda.

On a positive note, the week is half over. This week is flying by. We are gearing up to go to Sevilla on Friday night, which will be wicked fun. It will be nice to see Sevilla on our own time without having to worry about our kids. Gotta go shower… still got some hints of Mierda on me. Adios amigos.


Week 1 is DONE

June 23, 2007

It has been a long week. Being a camp counselor takes a hell of a lot out of you. The kids are great, but there are so many to take care of and keep in line that it gets to be wicked tiring. I was put with 8-11 year olds. It’s such a great group. The kids get along for the most part, and they are enjoying me as a counselor.

We went to the Zoologico Botanico in Jerez de la Frontera (about 45 minutes away) on Wednesday. It was an all day field trip, meaning 8 hours of being there. Funny thing is you could walk through the whole entire zoo in 20 minutes. Imagine entertaining 15 8-11 year olds with frigging meercats. Yeah, they’re cool animals, but I was racking my brain trying to find a way to keep the kids interested.

We did get to see the elephant. There was only one, but it put on a great show. First it came right up to us and started waving its trunk. After a little bit, it walked over to the building and started rubbing its back and butt on the wall. Before you know it, it opened up the hatches (it was a female) and started going to town. I swear it dropped a good 3 gallons of urine and about 5-10 lbs. of mierda. It was great looking down the line and seeing all the kids in complete shock! (gotta turn your heads for this one!)

Fortunately, about 6 other animals felt the urge to go numbers 1 and/or 2, so that occupied another 45 minutes. In the end, I played games with the kids and made it through the day.

One of my kids had a great quote: “Mr. Flintstone, that elephant just made a poop. You know what the difference is between a poop and a fart. A poop is solid, but a fart is just air, so you don’t leave marks in your pants.” Kid’s a genius!

Well, we have a celebration in Rota tonight. It’s the Summer Solstice, so they named it after a saint, they burn a bunch of shit and people run naked into the ocean to wash away their sins. Good pictures are on their way.

See ya.


First Day of Camp

June 18, 2007

This will be a short one because I’m pretty wiped, but I wanted to fill everyone in on my first day of camp.

I lucked out with a great group of 9-11 year olds. My “Camp Name” is Mr. Flintstone, but they insist on calling me Mr. Fruitcake. One kid loves to fart and loves his own scent even more. We’ve developed some etiquette rules, so that he at least excuses himself before he singes our nose hair. I forgot how funny farting is when you’re younger. It’s just something you avoid talking about when you’re older, but these kids take pride in their farts.

During closing, which is a short big-group session, one of my campers pulled on my hand and said… “Mr. Flintstone, I did something bad.” I turned and said, “Did you toot?” Her face said it all. She had a giant shit-eating grin, much like my own, and she just nodded proudly. How did I know, you ask? Because it smelled like rotten cabbage all around me, and I knew it wasn’t me.

These kids have a lot of energy. They were running circles around some counselors, but I managed to last the whole day (over 9 hours). I’m definitely pooped now after working out and going out to dinner, but it was well worth it. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.

And now… another random drunken Marine quote:

(To his friend at a table across the restaurant): “Hey faggot. Yeah you… eating the pizza. You should have played beer pong on the beach with me. Instead, I got really drunk… pussy. Fuck you dickhole.”

I really liked the combination of “fuck” and “dickhole.”

Adios amigos… tengo que relajarme antes el largo dia que viene.


The Texan

June 14, 2007

Just a brief note on this one…

I hated Texas when I lived there. It’s the asshole of America. I still hate Texas. Sorry if you’re from there, but it needs to be gifted to Mexico.

The woman that we work for on base… I’ll call her Yahoo… is a great representative of the Sovereign State of Texas. Every time we hear her voice, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’ve developed a really good impression of her already, and I entertain the rest of the group with it, but knowing my shitty luck, I’ll be imitating one day to boost morale, and she’ll be right behind me.

It’s only been 4 days, and already, we’re all pretty sick of her. She has lived here for 2 years, yet she knows absolutely nothing about the town or the base. She told us to walk about 5 blocks for an ATM, but I refused to believe her. I did my own investigating and found one across the street. Right across the frigging street… Texas Intellect is what I like to call it.

We’ll see how I can put up with it. Right now, I’m enjoying everything here, except for the Yahoo from Tejas. At least it gives us something to joke about.

Que Uds. esten bienes!

Adios Amigos!


Bienvenidos a Rota

June 14, 2007

I’ve always had somewhat crappy luck… it runs in my family… and there was no exception when I arrived in Spain.

Let’s start from when I got to PDX. The clerk at check-in had my bag going only to Madrid. Luckily, I caught that mistake and directed it to Rota.

Fast forward to about 27 hours later. I’m tired, sweaty, and I smell like a bum’s ________ (you fill in the blank). Needless to say, I’m in desperate need of a fresh pair of shorts and a nice t-shirt. Fortunately, after getting some advice from Cathcart and my parents, I packed an extra pair of underwear, shorts, and a shirt.

We arrive in Jerez de la Frontera, a small airport about 20 minutes outside of Rota. I’m sitting there with 7 other people from my program, watching the bags zoom by on the belt. Ever since PDX, I had this gut feeling that my bag would not show up in Jerez, but I also had hope that I wouldn’t be scatted on this time. One by one, they’re picked off until there are just three bags. Ha… wouldn’t you know it… mine wasn’t on there. I had the urge to start going nuts, but I had just met these people and wanted to make a good first impression, so I just started laughing instead. Everyone couldn’t understand how I could be so calm about it, but I knew it was just my luck.

So, everyone packs their bags into a van and we’re greeted by a nice, but overly-excitable woman from Corpus Christi, TEXAS! YAHOOO! Needless to say, I wasn’t in the mood for her redneck, inbred banter. She’s a nice woman, but she talks to us like we’re 3 years old sometimes, and if you ask a question and she doesn’t know the answer, she’ll just ignore you. (She likes me though, and she’s in charge for the most part, so I have something going for me… as long as she doesn’t find out that I had Bar Mitzvah)

We get to the base.. which is beautiful… 12 square miles of a small, naval city. There is everything you could need on here… a golf course, driving range, several restaurants, Naval Exchange and retail stores and even a drive-in movie theater. They even have slot machines in certain places, and I’m definitely going to hit them up.

We get to our dorms, and I’m dreading walking into a quad or double with twin sized bunk beds and a fan in the corner. This time a little good luck came my way… we each have our own separate sleeping quarters complete with extended twin, ceiling fan, air conditioning, desk, wardrobe, dresser, mirror and a TV with a DVD player. It’s a hotel suite. Plus, we share a kitchenette with free washer and dryer and a really nice bathroom. Oh yeah, and we have maids come in every day to clean our bathroom and make our beds. Basically, we’re living in the lap of luxury for a Camp Adventure program…. Or any program for that matter.

I’m paired up with Marco, a really good kid. We have similar senses of humor, and I can tell we’re going to get along just fine.

Our first day, we toured around the base a little bit with the Texan and were allowed to shop in one of the Military Personnel Stores. We also went out into the town and checked out the night life.

It’s pretty cool. Restaurants don’t open until 8 or 9 here. Restaurants are bars, and bars are restaurants, so no matter where you go, you can get a drink. We hit up the different bars and walked around the city for a few hours. The biggest difference I’ve found is how generous bartenders are with alcohol. In any drink… say Jack and Coke… they’ll pour 80% Jack and 20% Coke, then they give you the rest of the can to carry around with you. Stiff drinks for cheap is a great thing and only adds to the experience. The beer here is about 3 times stronger than the beer back home. It tastes a hell of a lot better, too, so I have no complaints with the night life here.

The locals are totally friendly to Americans, and especially love the American girls. We had two guys buy us all shots at a bar last night (and there were 9 of us) just so they could get to 2 girls in the group. I busted out my Spanish and told them the girls were lesbians (without the girls knowing). The guys backed off, the girls thanked me, and I just laughed to myself because I’m an asshole.

Turns out local women look for American guys, too. We are their passport out of here. If they can get with us and get us interested, they have a good chance of getting married (moreso with Marines than Camp A people) and they can come to the states. The women I’ve encountered here are very attractive, and we haven’t even ventured past the city limits. I’m excited to see what the rest of Spain has to offer… in a curious sort of way.

Well, we’re about to go out again, but I’ll write soon. Hope you all enjoy the pics. Adios amigos!