Posts Tagged ‘Texas’


The Texan

June 14, 2007

Just a brief note on this one…

I hated Texas when I lived there. It’s the asshole of America. I still hate Texas. Sorry if you’re from there, but it needs to be gifted to Mexico.

The woman that we work for on base… I’ll call her Yahoo… is a great representative of the Sovereign State of Texas. Every time we hear her voice, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’ve developed a really good impression of her already, and I entertain the rest of the group with it, but knowing my shitty luck, I’ll be imitating one day to boost morale, and she’ll be right behind me.

It’s only been 4 days, and already, we’re all pretty sick of her. She has lived here for 2 years, yet she knows absolutely nothing about the town or the base. She told us to walk about 5 blocks for an ATM, but I refused to believe her. I did my own investigating and found one across the street. Right across the frigging street… Texas Intellect is what I like to call it.

We’ll see how I can put up with it. Right now, I’m enjoying everything here, except for the Yahoo from Tejas. At least it gives us something to joke about.

Que Uds. esten bienes!

Adios Amigos!


Bienvenidos a Rota

June 14, 2007

I’ve always had somewhat crappy luck… it runs in my family… and there was no exception when I arrived in Spain.

Let’s start from when I got to PDX. The clerk at check-in had my bag going only to Madrid. Luckily, I caught that mistake and directed it to Rota.

Fast forward to about 27 hours later. I’m tired, sweaty, and I smell like a bum’s ________ (you fill in the blank). Needless to say, I’m in desperate need of a fresh pair of shorts and a nice t-shirt. Fortunately, after getting some advice from Cathcart and my parents, I packed an extra pair of underwear, shorts, and a shirt.

We arrive in Jerez de la Frontera, a small airport about 20 minutes outside of Rota. I’m sitting there with 7 other people from my program, watching the bags zoom by on the belt. Ever since PDX, I had this gut feeling that my bag would not show up in Jerez, but I also had hope that I wouldn’t be scatted on this time. One by one, they’re picked off until there are just three bags. Ha… wouldn’t you know it… mine wasn’t on there. I had the urge to start going nuts, but I had just met these people and wanted to make a good first impression, so I just started laughing instead. Everyone couldn’t understand how I could be so calm about it, but I knew it was just my luck.

So, everyone packs their bags into a van and we’re greeted by a nice, but overly-excitable woman from Corpus Christi, TEXAS! YAHOOO! Needless to say, I wasn’t in the mood for her redneck, inbred banter. She’s a nice woman, but she talks to us like we’re 3 years old sometimes, and if you ask a question and she doesn’t know the answer, she’ll just ignore you. (She likes me though, and she’s in charge for the most part, so I have something going for me… as long as she doesn’t find out that I had Bar Mitzvah)

We get to the base.. which is beautiful… 12 square miles of a small, naval city. There is everything you could need on here… a golf course, driving range, several restaurants, Naval Exchange and retail stores and even a drive-in movie theater. They even have slot machines in certain places, and I’m definitely going to hit them up.

We get to our dorms, and I’m dreading walking into a quad or double with twin sized bunk beds and a fan in the corner. This time a little good luck came my way… we each have our own separate sleeping quarters complete with extended twin, ceiling fan, air conditioning, desk, wardrobe, dresser, mirror and a TV with a DVD player. It’s a hotel suite. Plus, we share a kitchenette with free washer and dryer and a really nice bathroom. Oh yeah, and we have maids come in every day to clean our bathroom and make our beds. Basically, we’re living in the lap of luxury for a Camp Adventure program…. Or any program for that matter.

I’m paired up with Marco, a really good kid. We have similar senses of humor, and I can tell we’re going to get along just fine.

Our first day, we toured around the base a little bit with the Texan and were allowed to shop in one of the Military Personnel Stores. We also went out into the town and checked out the night life.

It’s pretty cool. Restaurants don’t open until 8 or 9 here. Restaurants are bars, and bars are restaurants, so no matter where you go, you can get a drink. We hit up the different bars and walked around the city for a few hours. The biggest difference I’ve found is how generous bartenders are with alcohol. In any drink… say Jack and Coke… they’ll pour 80% Jack and 20% Coke, then they give you the rest of the can to carry around with you. Stiff drinks for cheap is a great thing and only adds to the experience. The beer here is about 3 times stronger than the beer back home. It tastes a hell of a lot better, too, so I have no complaints with the night life here.

The locals are totally friendly to Americans, and especially love the American girls. We had two guys buy us all shots at a bar last night (and there were 9 of us) just so they could get to 2 girls in the group. I busted out my Spanish and told them the girls were lesbians (without the girls knowing). The guys backed off, the girls thanked me, and I just laughed to myself because I’m an asshole.

Turns out local women look for American guys, too. We are their passport out of here. If they can get with us and get us interested, they have a good chance of getting married (moreso with Marines than Camp A people) and they can come to the states. The women I’ve encountered here are very attractive, and we haven’t even ventured past the city limits. I’m excited to see what the rest of Spain has to offer… in a curious sort of way.

Well, we’re about to go out again, but I’ll write soon. Hope you all enjoy the pics. Adios amigos!