LA Quotes, Pt. 2: Adventures in Dodger Stadium

We sat out in Right Field for the Red Sox/ Dodgers game, surrounded by thousands of Dodgers fans (most looking to beat the shit out of us). Fortunately, we met a diehard Sox fan in the row in front of us. Here are a few gems from a true Red Sox Fan.

Dodgers Fan: I’ve never seen so many fake Red Sox Fans.
True Boston Fan: I’ve never seen that much pubic hair on one face!

True Boston Fan: (After Jason Varitek hit a foul ball behind home plate) CHINESE HOME RUN!

Dodgers Fan: Man, free food at Dodgers Stadium. This shit is good.
True Boston Fan: Food’s alright, team still sucks!

Dumb Dodger Puta: The Red Sox suck!
True Boston Fan: Yeah, they sucked all the way to the World Series, honey!

Dodgers Fan: What the hell do Red Sox Fans do in the offseason?
True Boston Fan: Listen to a lot of Neil Diamond and watch the ’86 World Series while we circle jerk with our own tears. What the fuck do you think?

Quotes from LA, Pt. 1

1) My brother to Cat, a dancing professional at Cheetah’s Fine Exotic Establishment: “Why did you have a British accent the last time I was here?” Answer: “Because I hate my life…”

2) Drunk New Yorker who took notice of my Red Sox hat: “Joba Chamberlain is going to fuck you like a fly. Right up the poop…”

3) My brother and I having a discussion with Lillith, another dancing queen from Cheetahs:

Dickie: So what made you choose Lillith as a name?
Me: Is it because you like Frasier?
Lillith: Lillith was in the Garden of Eden before Eve, but she was kicked out because she was too naughty, just like me.
Dickie: You have really kind eyes…